The Wilhelm Scream
by sastielstories
Summary: AU: Castiel fell from heaven. Shredded from his wings and graces by Zachariah, he now has nothing but his human instincts. Set during pre season 1 and onwards, Castiel has been watching over The Winchesters since Sam was born. Castiel finally meets Sam whilst he's at Stanford, and Sam is struck by him straight away. Is there a connection between them that goes beyond words?
1. Prologue

* Wilhelm scream - The Wilhelm scream is a film and television stock sound effect that has been used in more than 200 movies, beginning in 1951 for the film Distant Drums. The scream is often used when someone is shot, falls from a great height, or is thrown from an explosion. * I don't know about my dreams, I don't know about my dreaming anymore… All I know that is, I'm falling, falling, falling, falling… Might as well fall in. I don't know about my love, I don't know about my loving anymore, All I know that is, I'm falling, falling, falling, falling… Might as well fall in. James Blake - The Wilhelm Scream Prologue "Castiel!" His own brother stood before him, with a look on his face of cold, firm aggression. He wasn't going to be the angel that would stand down from his righteousness ideas of what he would confirm as being the correct way to handle things. Standing there in a sharp silver, grey suit, top button undone with no tie but just a white shirt, he wasn't playing any games no more. "I'm no longer worthy to you. You are defiant against our own father, and I shall NOT be expected to follow whatever foolish choices you, our brothers and sisters, are prepared to make up here in our own home. Heaven is not what it used to be. It's become a reckless civil war that I do not want to be part of. I have no reason to fight you when I hold no grudge, neither on Michael or Lucifer's side. Do you not understand that Zachariah?" "You are giving up your duty. You are supposed to be a soldier Castiel. Do you think you can make your own decisions without us? You think you can manage alone?" "I will do whatever it takes to know that I will always be better than all of you, to make sure that I don't get mixed upon ruining hundreds of lives... until all of us are dead. I DO NOT want to be a part of it. You HEAR me? I am done. I don't wish to take any more orders from you." "Fine. Then expect your powers to be drained." "Better than be a drone... a drone who has no feeling or decision on what he or she decides." "Castiel... why do you want to give up? How do you expect to live down on Earth? How do you expect to cope without your family behind you?" "I have no family. You are all sinners. You betrayed and turned your backs on God. I can never forgive any of you for that. For who is left I'm sure I can be there for. I can't imagine Samandriel will stay knowing all of this. At least he'll have some sense." "You could have been so strong and powerful Castiel. You're throwing everything away." "I would rather disobey, disobey what I know is wrong. This corruption is no longer the Heaven that I once knew... where we cared about humans!" "Phuh, humans! All they ever do is make mistakes! They never learn, they don't even accept God's love. They will not survive Castiel... not in this war." "Not if I can help it." Zachariah eyed Castiel and gave him an icy cold pitiful look, as if to look down on him like some piece of vermin. Zachariah laughed at Castiel nastily, knowing that he was far more powerful than Castiel could ever be. But Castiel did not care. So be it. So be it that he was no longer an angel in heaven. Castiel had given up trying to be the best for his siblings and for The Holy Spirit. He no longer believed he could make a difference as he was no longer taken seriously. "You talk about humans neglecting God's love but what about you?" "God doesn't care about us." "He cares about all of us Zachariah. I know that he'll respect my decision and will understand why I no longer want to be a part of this selfishness!" "You are a stupid man Castiel. You are low, pathetic and... and I'm disappointed in you greatly." "The feeling's mutual Zachariah." Zachariah stepped towards Castiel, and gave him a snide smile. Castiel showed him no mercy and was well aware of what he was about to do. He saddened Castiel majorly that it had to be this way, and that Zachariah wouldn't listen to him. But no one listens to him anymore. Every angel has believed that fighting this so called war was the right thing to do, and nobody was prepared to stand guard. So this was where Castiel had to face the very moment that he was no longer going to have powers that could easily swim him along in the world known as Earth. His powers is what made him different from humans… but now, was it he was going to be one? Castiel gave him a tube full of blue light, where he got blood cut from his neck. Zachariah took it and lifted his hand up on to Castiel's forehead... and a beam of light begun to shine through the gates of Heaven. What felt like centuries, Castiel felt the white hot burn rush through his whole body, his whole soul transforming, being weakened, shredded to a small size. Castiel's wings appeared in the flesh, and begun to torch like a flame. Castiel closed his eyes to make sure he didn't have to foresee the blinding glimmers of light and fire that surrounded him, the feeling like sharp lightning. His vision was beginning to blur, and no longer could he feel any of his body, but this shrivelling spark that made all feeling die out into numbness. Castiel no longer knew where he was, the thousands of years of existence being torn away and flashing around him in one tumbling explosion. Suddenly Castiel was falling from the sky... the pain so harsh yet so quick as he found himself blackout half way down onto Earth. The grace of his had been deteriorated. Castiel's wings burned and burned... until there was so little left. He collapsed in a heaped mess on to the ground with a hard thud that created a hole where he landed in the middle of a forest. The impact of him crashing down was so great, and rushed through him... but the feeling of his bones and muscle were gone. The last tiny bit of grace he had stopped his human vessel from breaking any of him, but he would feel it later, the impact of shock stopping the pain in the moment. But even in pain, what was left of Castiel was perfectly intact. But no longer could his wings be revealed, no longer was Castiel an angel... but fallen forever. Whatever was left of his wings were charred pieces, surrounding the littlest bits of white and featheriness that left so little to the imagination... as they were never going to be as beautiful as they were. Castiel was now forever a broken angel... a human left to his own devices. Castiel knew he had made the right decision. He knew that he could manage. Besides, there were two humans that he cared dearly for... even though he was still not prepared to properly meet them yet, he was going to eventually do so in due course. These two humans he'd been watching over ever since they were young and little. Those humans who'd had the misfortune of their mother being murdered. Murdered by those that are cold and cruel, those that only want destruction. Well, by one of them. One of them being a demon, a demon full of power that actually... Castiel knew very well. This demon had to be stopped, otherwise the two brothers that Castiel had been watching over would be ruined, and the whole world will start to crumble. The two brothers that were the most important humans in the whole wide world. Sam and Dean Winchester. 


	2. How Long Must You Wait For It

**Chapter 1: How long must you wait for it**

"**in my place, in my place were lines I couldn't change I was lost..."**

_May 14th 2005_

Sam wasn't expecting to actually be completely content for once.

Having just turned twenty two only 12 days ago… things were oddly peaceful.

He never would have imagined actually being able to enjoy his life without his brother or his dad around. It felt nice to not have to worry about what case he'd be working on next or where he'd have to burn the bones of the latest vengeful spirit.

He'd gotten so sick and tired of being bossed about and ordered to do this and that by John that he just couldn't agree with him anymore. He loved Dean, but being around him was suffocating sometimes too. He shouldn't have had to be expected to endanger his life with a brother that he knew full well wasn't going to get out of hunting like he would. It saddened Sam that Dean had no ambition or any kind of life that he wanted. Sam couldn't understand why he'd never defy their dad, nor ever disagree with him even if he knew he was wrong.

Sam wished that Dean had the courage to stand up to dad and do what he truly wanted, instead of just going along with what John felt like should be done. Sam knew that their mom wouldn't have wanted him and Dean to be put in a life of hunting whatever they can find, and not settling into a proper life with a family and a home. He knew Mary wanted them to have a normal life, but their dad wasn't having it. But on the other hand he couldn't boss Sam around anymore. John knew deep down that he would have to let Sam and Dean live regular lives.

Unfortunately Sam also knew deep down that he wasn't going to be left alone to own defences.

He knew that something was going to happen eventually.

But he chose to ignore it, and be happy for a little bit as much as he could.

Dean or dad had called them on his birthday though… but he chose to ignore the calls.

It's been a year now since he left dad and Dean to the job and he was surprised that Dean or his father hadn't bothered to come to Stanford.. He figured that they'd finally given up trying to persuade him to come back hunting and kill the next monster on the list. It was weird them not being around, when he'd had them around close for all his life up until now. He was glad that he could finally have some independence and perhaps start to lead further away from the past and into his future. He had no time to waste and needed to live in his moment now before all his time would run out and he would have to go back to before... which he wasn't willing to do anytime soon.

Sam was on his computer, where he was working on his latest assignment for his current pre-achieved Master's degree in Law. He was in his second year of college and he was enjoying it a lot. He had made a lot of great friends and had met his current girlfriend, Jessica. He'd found Jessica so interesting when he met her, and she always made him smile. They got along well and he was glad he found someone that shared interests with him... and well, she was just awesome. He'd been with Jess for a few months now.

Sam had been working a good few hours now nearly finished with his assignment and decided he felt he needed a break. He got up from his chair and got a can of pop out of the mini fridge in his dormitory. He was sharing with another flatmate, and his flatmate was pretty chill. Sam was always tidy anyway so there was never any arguments between him and Robert, as he was pretty tidy too. Robert didn't do Law, so he didn't see him often during class time.

It was evening time now, and Sam figured he might need something to eat soon. It was a Thursday, and he figured and hoped he'll also be done with the assignment by tomorrow so he decided that there won't be any harm in chilling at the bar on Friday night for a couple of hours.

Sam decided to get the cooker on and walked to the kitchen area where he got out macaroni pasta from the cupboard and fresh cheese from the fridge. It took him a good 10 minutes to have it all done.

Not long later when Sam had finished cooking dinner Robert came in and settled himself on the little couch that they both shared.

Sam heard him come in and came out of the little kitchen area. "Hey Robert, how was your day?"

Robert smiles gingerly, "It was fine thanks. Yours?"

"Oh you know... full of writing for my assignment. How's your work in Biology going?"

"It's fine. Managed to keep up."

"Great. Are you hungry?"

"Yes actually. What you got cooking?"

"Just something simple really. Is macaroni and cheese alright?"

"Yeah sure. Thank you."

"No problem..." Sam walked back to the kitchen area and got out two bowls from the cupboard and two spoons from the drawer. He got the ladle from the pan and scooped out a big spoonful of macaroni and cheese, placing it into one of the bowls. He scooped out another and handed the bowl of pasta to Robert. Robert thanked him with a smile. Sam did the same for himself and they sat down eating their food carefully and had a small chat.

They awkwardly finished the conversation and dinner and Robert got out his laptop and no longer paid attention to Sam. Sam chuckled to himself finding Robert's quiet behaviour to be very different and almost strange compared to how Dean would go on and on and talk about nothing for hours. That was one thing that maybe he did mind in a way... seeing as Sam was one for talking more than just awkwardly sitting and blanking people in the room. But hey, Robert wasn't a bad guy... and if he wasn't a chatty person he wasn't going to complain.

Sam decided he would write a little more for his assignment and have an early night to sleep as he didn't have anything else to do. He wasn't seeing Jessica properly until tomorrow. He was looking forward to hanging out like a regular guy for what felt like forever, since the last time he could ever be 'normal' was when he was at school... until his dad would drag them somewhere else. Sam always had to start from scratch every few months because of John taking them from one state to another. This was the first time he could actually relax and settle down somewhere comfortable and be familiar with the faces that he had grown to become friends with.

But at the same time he kept having an itching feeling in the back of his skull that something was wrong, something bad was going to happen. Sam decided that he must be looking for bad things to happen and he was just being a little pessimistic. Everything was fine and he was just imagining it all. He decided to turn in, and headed to his little bedroom where he fell back onto the cold sheets of his single bed.

He wasn't going to let guilt run his life... he wasn't going to feel guilty about the choices he made.

Unfortunately though, Sam never found it easy to be selfish without it making him resent his decisions. Especially since he always put his family first.

But he didn't quite know yet that someone was watching over him...

Or someone was about to come into his life without even knowing it.

May 15th 2005

Friday night was finally here. Sam felt like the whole day had gone deliberately slowly. He was happy that his beauty of a girlfriend Jessica was going to be around for a little bit before she had to go back and get her work done. Jessica wasn't someone who gave herself days off like Sam would. Sam always teased her about how she was a bit of a boffin... but he couldn't complain as it seemed like he was one himself sometimes.

Sam and a few college buddies walked into the bar called "Randy's", a typical American bar that had been around for a good few years. It's the only decent bar around, as all the other ones are really cheesy and full of stupid techno music that Sam has never been a fan of. That was more Jessica's thing, as she loved the pop music you got nowadays. On the other hand he wasn't as old school as Dean... who was still stuck in the 70's rock. Radiohead was something he liked.

Sam planned on getting the first round of drinks, whilst his pals were going to get the other rounds later. Sam was never that worried about getting the rounds seeing as he was quite happy to see others have a good time... just as long as they were fair and paid from rounds too. It seemed to work well that way.

Sam walked up to the bar and waited a moment for the male bartender to serve him. He turned round to face him with a fairly grim but soft look on his face. He was chewing on a wooden toothpick, and gave Sam a slight bleak smile. "What can I get ya?"

Sam smiled politely at the man. "Five Budweiser's please."

The man nodded and bent down to reach out 5 bottles of Budweiser from the refrigerator. He placed the bottles on the bar and picked one of them each to click against the bottle opener to take the caps off. He slides them over to Sam and Sam gives him 40 dollars.

"Keep the change" he says and picks up 3 bottles of beer in one hand quite easily and the other hand with the other 2 left. He carries them over to the table his friends are sat at and gives them to each of the guys, taking the 5th one for himself. He downs a gulp of it before holding it back in his hand. He settles down on one of the seats.

Derek, Sam's closest friend out of the four of them, bangs his bottle up and down on the table to quieten the men to get their attention on him. They all look at him and wait for him to speak.

"Men... it's time we play poker tonight."

All the men yell in agreement.

Sam just smiles and chuckles at the rest of them.

Derek slyly turns his face towards Sam and gives him a grin, "Shall we play for money eh Sam?"

Sam eyes up at Derek, and scoffs. "Good luck with winning... Derek."

The other men start to "oooo" at Derek, knowing full well that Sam and Derek were the best poker players in their little group.

"Ha... I suggest you'll need the luck more than me." Derek winks at Sam.

Sam gives him a sneering grin and Derek deals out the playing cards.

Sam looks down at his cards as each one is passed round and he then picks up his.

Sam sees he already has a possible full house. He had two 6's and nearly a three of a kind. He needed to get a Jack or a 7 to match his 8 and 9 of diamonds. If he got a full house then he could have a chance of beating Derek… but if only he could change this full house to a four of a kind. Could he do it? Just maybe.

Two hours later… it was time to go home.

The first game Sam had indeed won the first round, managing with a bit of a luck to get a four of a kind that beat Derek's full house. But the second round Derek beat him only just and then the last two rounds was won by Sam… ergo he being the champion.

But Sam didn't want to go home as early as the boys, as they were only in for some light drinking and then some revision for the next day. It was only gone 10 and Jessica was coming in 5 minutes.

Sam waited alone, and ordered himself another beer. He sat by the bar as the clocked ticked and ticked, time going slightly slower than usual.

Sam dared not think about what Dean was doing right at that moment. He dared not want to ever be worried because he couldn't back out of a normal life now… not when things were going great.

But that was Sam's problem. His weakness had always been Dean and it pissed Sam off so much. He didn't want to always feel like he needed his big brother beside him to fight off any troubles that were going through his head. Sam wanted to be independent and to be able to live his life without being daddy's good little soldier.

Dean cared about him though. Dean cared so much that he was prepared to be a little bit selfish and not let him live his own life. But on the other hand Dean would feel Sam was the selfish one, the one who was leaving the hunting life so that he could take on his own needs in life… which Dean and John did not improve of.

But Dean couldn't deny that he wanted a life. Deep down he wanted to do what Sam did, but he knew he couldn't because their dad would fall apart. John needed his boys… but he wasn't prepared to let them have what they wanted. Their mom's death destroyed John, and so he has always been determined since then that he would kill and get vengeance on whoever murdered Mary Winchester.

Sam did understand why Dean wanted him to stay… and he would have if it weren't for the fact that actually… Mary didn't want them to get stuck in the hunting life. It didn't help either, that John was never around and all he did was argue with Sam. This didn't make Sam feel welcome. Sam was sick of being pushed around. He didn't want to be hunting for the rest of his life.

Sooner or later though Sam knew he'd have to go back. But not until he felt it was fair and when they truly needed help. Sam may not want to go back, but he knew he wouldn't let his brother or father die. He would be there when it really was serious. But for now, Sam hoped and believed that they would be alright… because they're strong and they're capable of taking matters into their own hands. Dean was a better hunter than he ever was anyway.

Sam knew that John needed him and Dean, but he also needed to let him and Dean live their own lives. Dean was so caught up in looking after family though that he had become their dad's sidekick, or soldier if you will. It made Sam feel sad because he didn't want for that Dean, and deep down Dean didn't want it either. But Dean never thought about himself, he never looked after himself before anyone else. Dean insisted in Sam being his no.1 priority.

But Sam found it suffocating, found it a pain that Dean was so shrivelled up and had the fixation of looking after him all the time that it drove Sam insane. Sam couldn't understand why he couldn't just think for himself for once. But Sam wasn't going to wait around and argue about it.

He didn't want to be part of the insufferable arguments he'd had with their dad anymore. Sam wanted to just forget it all for a while and lead a life that didn't cause him so much pain or suffering. Sam had just about enough grief than he could handle. He was 22 and he wasn't going to go and waste his life away when he could be doing something that he was content with. He couldn't let his brother and especially father hold him back anymore.

As Sam was over thinking too much than he thought he should about Dean and John, Jess walked into the bar with her shoulder bag, full of books and wearing her reading glasses that Sam found really cute. As soon as Sam saw her he beamed and brought his arms out to wrap them round her waist and placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

"Heeey you. I missed you," Jess smiled warmly at him, that smile that always made Sam feel fuzzy inside. Did he love this woman?

Sam held her tight and smelt the sweet perfume she always wore. It smelt like jasmine and woodsmoke, which he loved. Not that Sam should memorise what those things smelt like, but he wasn't exactly going to lie and say he was a macho man. Well, woodsmoke he could get away with.

"I missed you two. I always miss you." They let go of their embrace and Jess' sincere smile flashed into a mocking grin.

"Don't get mushy on me Sammy."

Sam winced at 'Sammy', as he did not want to be thinking of his big brother. Sam tried not to clench his jaw and lose his cool. He would never want to get angry at Jess.

He shrugged it off saying, "Sam. Not Sammy." He stuck his tongue out at Jess. She chuckles, taking Sam's hands and intertwining them with hers. "Naaaww who's grumpy grumperson huh?"

"Jess. Let's just have a drink..." he then wraps his arm around her neck, as a playful lockhold. She starts laughing and she slaps her hand on his shoulder and he lets go as they sit down at the bar.

"What would you like?"

"Hmmmm... what do you think?"

"Let's stick with beer?"

Jess just nods at Sam, grinning at him almost seductively. Sam notices this and winks at her, then orders two more beers. Sam is slightly drunk.

"Awww Sam… you're a little drunk aren't you?" Jess places her fingers through Sam's hair. Sam hums slightly to the feeling of her hand rustling his locks. "Maybe… but hey, I'm having a good time…" Sam has a goofy, calm smile plastered on his face.

"Well I should hope so… and maybe you will have an even better time tomorrow…"

Sam giggles flirtingly as he holds Jess in an embrace, his face almost pressed against hers.

"Hehe… and why's that?" He runs his fingers up and down Jess' arms, her giggling along with him, biting her lip as she closes the space between them and leaves chaste kisses on his lips. "Because…" she whispers, "You're going to spend have a special treat from me… and we can spend tomorrow tonight together all night long if you want…" and Sam's grinning down at her, and places his lips on hers again. The moment they share together tightened with a feel of ecstasy.

Sam then deepens the kiss slightly, and places his hands around Jess' waist. She then giggles and pushes away his lustful hands away and she stops the kiss for a moment, their foreheads planted together. "Sam… we can't do this here… people will watch. God knows what pervs are here…" Sam's still chuckling, "Mmm okay but don't tease with promises. How can I wait a whole day to hold you…" He then nips at Jess' ear tenderly and whispers in her ear, "How can I wait to make you feel good… and have you under me…"

Jess then pushes away from Sam's embrace, still smiling. "You'll just have to wait. Be patient my randy boy…" Sam's face is flush, his body feeling things. The teasing from Jess had left him feeling riling up. He can no longer pretend that he wasn't feeling a little horny.

Cold shower for him tonight.


End file.
